So….It’s
kind of funny how life can change in an instant. One day you are thinking you have everything
you could have ever wanted….and then you wake up and it’s all gone. Or so you think. All of a sudden you can’t see past today, hey
your lucky if you can see past the next 60 seconds. Your brain goes crazy, and your heart starts
skipping beats…you start losing weight, you don’t sleep, you look where ever
you can for answers…..and find none.
That my
friends, is divorce. When you have no
idea that it is coming, and you think that everything is okay. I now know first hand what people go
through…and I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy.
I guess the worst part of it for me at least, is the midget pygmy’s. I still see them, but it’s not the same….its
weak substitute for being in their lives on a day to day basis. I guess it’s for the best. Why should two of the best things in my life
be with two people who suddenly after supposed bliss can’t stand each other? I won’t point fingers; I won’t play the blame
game. Its life, it happens, it’s not
pretty, but what can you do? You suck it
up, wake up every day, put a smile on your face, and try to make the best of
what you have been given. And guess
what…pretty soon things do look better, and they ARE better.
So…I
have talked about the worst part of it.
My cousin Mo......kind of a crusty salty soul…told me when this was
starting…hope for the best and prepare for the worst. He kept telling me to put myself first…work
on myself. It only took close to 9
months. I’m finally there. So…the best part of this…friends and
family. People who you knew would be in
your corner, and there for you. Also…family
that you thought was just family on paper…who all of a sudden are engrained in
your life. That’s the best part. You go for years and know you have family.
But you don’t really connect. Then all
of a sudden…you connect…like you had in years past. That my friends are the most wonderful
feeling I have felt in a long time.
I have
taken a break from blogging…that much you can tell. But…I have not been exactly been
dormant. I have been spending time
working on my wood working, well programming at least. Not too much time in production, but hey it’s
something right?
Then…I was
like hey. I want to set up a Facebook
page for my woodworking. So..Please,
seach for me and like me. Smith And Sons Signs. Its new…I’m working on it. Then WHAMO!!!
I have orders for signs.
Then out of
the blue, I have someone who wants me to make their branded Jams and
Jellies. This would be a whole sale, but
it gets me back into the game. And right
now, anything that gets me into, or keeps me in the game is worth doing.
Also…something
happened to wake the slumbering jelly giant.
My sister asked me to help her with her wedding favors. 90+ ¼ pints of blackberry Jam. Yeah….one day, one fell swoop…and it was
done. I went to bed EXAUSTED that
day….but the next day woke up feeling refreshed. Something had started to wake up.
My Blog, my
life, my cooking, are not where I want them to be. It kind of bums me out, and then I get
depressed, and I don’t do anything about it.
I have a feeling that’s about to change.
There is only so long someone can sit on the sidelines and watch life
pass you by. If you wait too long it’s
going to be impossible to jump back in, and do what needs to be done. So my friends, this is the turning
point. I don’t know where I am going to
start, or what I am going to do, but I have to do something. Going through every day putting one foot in
front of the other isn’t working for me anymore. For a while I was proud that I could wake up,
get dressed, ride to work, and have it appear that I am okay, and my life is
going good. I have come to the
realization that no, my life is not good, and no, I am not doing okay. And that, I am proud to say. We all have people in our lives that pretend
that their lives are together, and we all know they really aren’t. I refuse to be one of those people. For my two midget pygmy’s, my friends and
loved ones, and others in my life that have come into my life as more than friends,
more than acquaintances…I owe them fealty.
And it is time I start paying that price.
After months and months of bad
news, worse news, and are you kidding me news, things are finally starting to
move me back towards the surface. For
the longest time I was treading water, and I started to fall beneath the
waves. But, there is hope for me. =) It
took all these months to realize that I have never quit at anything. I may have surrendered a time or two, but I
have never given up, nor have I given up fighting the good fight.
SO….the
good news of all of this…is I will be blogging more. Hahaha.
Good for me…but you guys have to read what I wrote.
