The Rise and fall of Ranch Dressing

Tonight was Pizza Night.  Not any old pizza, but Round Table Pizza.  Large Peperoni and Olive, with Extra Cheese, and LIGHT creamy Garlic Sauce.  It was good, it was quick, and I actually have time to blog due to the lack of dishes! 

So, my 6 year old was eating his pizza with ranch, and said “I remember when I was 4; we used to have 2 kinds of ranch “(He was way younger than 4, maybe 3 and a half or something).  The wife looked at me with a “ where does he come up with this stuff look “ and then I was like “YES WE DID”  Back in the old days before the second midget pigmy child came to live in this establishment, we were ranch connoisseurs.  I preferred the Bacon Ranch, and my wife liked the buttermilk ranch.  We would fight about whose turn it was to give the 1^st midget pigmy child ranch out of their supply.  (Not a pretty sight)  So then midget pigmy child number 1 from then on got his own bottle of Original Hidden Valley Ranch.

My life came to an abrupt halt one day when did my shopping, and there was no Bacon Ranch….NONE!  I tracked down the first stock person I could find, and hung from their shirt begging and pleading “ What have you done with my Bacon Ranch, what have I done to deserve this “ he was like “ Dude…no one eats that stuff, so we stopped carrying it, and let go of my shirt…do I need to call security?  I walked out of there indignant as I could, they would not do this to me, and I would have the final say.  4 Grocery stores later I went home a whipped puppy.

Later at home, I broke the awful news to my wife.  I poured my heart out, I was in tears, I was truly heart broken.  The only other time that has happened, was when they canceled Jericho.  (That was an ugly couple of weeks) Her response “So, did you get my Buttermilk Ranch”?  Where is the love, where is the compassion, I mean I just lost my best friend and my wife had no sympathy.  So I was on a mission, a mission from the Ranch God himself.  I was heck bent and determined to get my Bacon Ranch.  I looked high, and I looked low.  Nada, zilch, zippo.  Not a drop of Bacon Ranch in Sacramento. 

So, what point am I trying to make tonight?  Duh, there is no point.  I like Bacon Ranch and I don’t care who knows about it.  I did get the last laugh though.  I did the shopping one day and we had Chef Salads that night and wifey asked “Honey can you bring out my Ranch Dressing “straight faced and solemn…” Nope, no one was buying that stuff so we stopped carrying it“.  =) 

Later!